A Himalayan Child's Life

I was born in a village called Nathukharka in Northern part of Nepal bordering with Tibet. According to my mom, I was born in a potato field while she was digging the potatoes in November. I still go to visit that place when I go home sometimes.

I am the sixth child among ten children. When I was one year old, my family moved to a small hilly town right on the border with Tibet. I spent my whole childhood there. After we were there for five years, we moved back to the same village because our rented room was burned. In the village, we had around 20 cows. We lived as nomads, moving to the mountains in summer. After two years, my dad sold all the cows and bought 45 goats. Later we had 21 baby goats.

My little sister and I were responsible for looking after all the goats. Early in the morning we had to take some corn in our pocket and go to collect fodder for the goats. I am very bad at climbing trees, so my sister was the one who climbed the trees and cut down the leafy branches. We had to collect the fodder only in the winter time, so our job was easier in the summer. We had to take the goats for grazing until noon, and then we brought them to rest for an hour. After having our lunch, we had to take them to graze again until 5 pm.

Up in the mountains, it is really hard to look after the goats and when there is rain and the weather is foggy, we used to be in trouble for losing the goats. We would search everywhere, but it was so difficult to see them in the fog and rain. We always cried when we couldn’t find them. And sometimes in the evening when we checked the goats, some of them were missing. My father was quite strict, and we would get a scolding from him and he would send us back to search for the goats in the rain. My mother and two of my older sisters were busy in the field growing crops, so they couldn’t help us, but I used to take our black dog Zupphi with us. She was so clever and she was the one who could find the goats.

Sometimes my sister and I used to get in big trouble because sometimes our goats got lost forever and sometimes foxes or leopards killed them. When we had such problems, my sister and I used to run away from the nomad tent to somewhere far in the forest, under big trees or a cave, to be safe from the scolding. While we were hiding, we used to cut the climbers and make a swing and play. The nectar from rhododendrons was our wild juice and it was our favorite. In the evening there were more chores. I had to look after my little brother and feed him. That was our daily routine.

In the winter, we would go down to the village, though it was very cold there too. All the farmers would be busy growing potatoes and maize etc. When we got down, we had to help our mom and sister cut the potatoes' eyes and carry them to the field. And this was the time when we got to go to the school. My village school was two hours away from my house, so my sister and I had to collect the fodder in the morning, send all the goats into the forest, have our lunch at 8:00 a.m., and then go to school. We had to walk down a steep hill to reach our school. Sometimes, we used to be late to school, and we would get a real beating from our teachers because it is a government school. And sometimes when we were late for school, we used to hide all day in the bushes because we didn't want to be beaten. Then, when school was finished, we got out of the bushes and went home. But we didn’t know that our dad was always checking our attendance in the school, and when he found out, we would get a very severe punishment, a scolding and sometimes a beating from him.

Once in the snowy time, when I was late for school, my teacher beat me with a rope and then used it to tie me to a pillar. It was so dark by the time I got home and my dad was really angry with me. School teachers were very bad at that time. They gave us whole chapters to copy as homework, which we did not have time to do; and if it was incomplete, they beat us with poison ivy. It was a very terrible life.

We got a holiday on Saturdays, but on that day my little sister or I usually had to go with one of my older sisters to the stone mill to grind the corn. My mom was busy making wine and alcohol because our “New Year “ was near. We kids were very happy about getting new clothes in the New Year. My sister and I used to get the same clothes every time, and we used to be like twins.

One month before the New Year, one of my cousins asked me to go with her and carry half a sack of sand from the river. It was to make a bridge over the village river. I ran from the school and went with her. It was five to six hours of walking, downhill and uphill from my house. We collected the sand in the sack and carried it all the way up to the destination where a few people were working on making a bridge, in the place where the stone mill is. I got Rs.50 from one of the guys and my cousin got Rs.100 because she is older than me. She was around 17 at that time. I was so happy because that was the first time in my life of having a big amount of money.

That night I stayed at my cousin’s house. Her mom, who was my dad’s elder sister, said that she would keep my money so that it wouldn’t get lost. First I refused to give it to her, but she threatened to take it away from me, so I had to hand it over. Next day, I went home and I got the same scolding from my dad. I explained everything to him, but at dinner, my dad said that they would keep my little sister with them to look after the baby, but I had to stay at my aunt’s house because I had to go to school and it is little bit closer from her house.

I was so sad. I had to move the next day. My dad brought some rice, flour, dough, butter, and potatoes to my aunt’s house for my ration. At the beginning it was ok, but later I was so sad because I had to go to collect fodder for my aunt's four goats in the morning and go to school at 9 AM, eating leftover rice with the butter tea. After school, I had to fetch the water and feed the goats. When I got a little free time, I used to play a skipping game with bamboo in the open space outside the house, but my aunt forbade me to play because she said that it disturbed her.

I was always looking up to see whether my mom or dad was coming. But there was no sign of either of them. I wept and wept whenever I missed them. I had been at my aunt’s for three months when one Saturday I had to go with my cousin to get firewood in the forests. There were some other guys with her and one guy had a camera with him. I was the youngest. We walked three hours in the jungle and collected dried wood and they made a load at my back. They were busy taking pictures in different poses. I was also very keen to take pictures but I couldn’t ask. They walked with me after they were done with the pictures. The load on my back was so heavy for me that I was very slow carrying it down the steep hill. My cousin was scolding and cursing me for being so late. I didn’t say anything, but just wept as I walked along. My feet were bleeding and I was so sad that I had no escape from all this.

It was around 3 pm and we were almost at the house. I was the last in line, and I was looking forward to resting when we got home. When I looked towards the house, suddenly I was so happy-- my mom was there! She was sitting outside the door on a stone. My cousin also saw her, and as soon as she saw my mom she started telling me not to tell my mom about her scolding me. She started helping me with my firewood and talking so nicely to me. When I got to my mom, I put down the load of firewood and I burst into tears in front of her. I didn’t say anything bad about staying at my aunt’s, but she knew by looking at my face, and I saw her eyes full of tears. That night she stayed there and I was so happy I forgot all the sad and bad time. I slept with her that night.

The next morning she had to leave again. She took out some rice, dough,and corn flour as my dad did. I said to myself, it is useless bringing all these rations for me because I didn’t get any of them there. The food was always the same for me. My aunt and cousin were both were telling my mom good things about me and how they cared about me. But it was all untrue.

When my mom was outside the door, I asked her to give me Rs 15 because I had to buy pencils and copies. Before mom’s arrival, I had asked my aunt to lend me Rs.15., and she had refused, saying “I know your family won’t give the money back and you won’t be able to pay me back..” I had promised her that I would pay it back but she didn't listen to me. When I asked her for my Rs.50 that I made from carrying the sand, she said it got lost. My mom gave me R.20 and told to study well and behave well. I couldn’t control myself from crying. My mom left and I was looking at her till she was gone from my sight. My aunt taunted me for crying in front of my mom. I had my tea and went to collect fodder. I didn’t go to school that day. In the dinner time, both aunt and sister blamed me for stealing the curd. I said I didn’t touch anything but they were on my case. They said that they would tell my dad everything bad I had done. I didn’t say anything.

One day my aunt got an invitation for a wedding. Aunt and sister both went to the wedding and I was alone in the house. I didn’t get to go to school. They were gone all day. By evening it started raining with hailstones. The wind was blowing so strongly and I was so scared. I put the goats inside the hut. There was thunder and lightning, and one thing I am especially scared of is thunder, but I made dinner, and when they came home they were happy with me for doing all the housework.

After one week after my mother left, my dad came to visit. It was always the same—I cried whenever I saw my parents. My dad said he had come to take me back home. When I heard that, I was jumping and jumping with happiness. My aunt was telling him to leave me with them, but my dad said I was needed at my home. I packed all my stuff and left. On the way, I walked so fast that I got home in one and a half hours. I was crying with happiness when I saw my whole family. At dinner time, my mom asked me how was my life at my aunt’s place and many other things. At first, I said everything was good and fine. But my mom and sisters told me that I had become so thin and pale. Then I told them the whole story, and when I was telling them they were crying. My dad apologized to me for keeping me with his sister. I thought I would never go to my aunt’s again in the future. Again I was happy with my family.

One day in the rainy season, I and my sister went to dig potatoes and by the time we got back, my dad was standing at the door. I was scared when I saw him. His face was looking sad and he said.” Anga (my calling name at home, which means baby), your brother has come to take you to school in Kathmandu.” I was so shocked when I heard that. I thought my dad was kidding with me, but he never jokes and he is always very serious. I was still looking at his face in surprise and he said,”If you don’t believe, go and see inside.” There was my oldest brother, who is a monk, sitting by the fireside, smiling at me. I was very shy to ask him whether he has come to take me or not.

We had a good dinner that night, but I was apphrehensive. My mom was already weeping. After some time my mom and dad had some arguments about sending me with my brother, but my brother convinced them. Next morning, I was given butter tea in a beautiful cup and my parents offered me a khata (Tibetan white religious scarf) and some money. Both of them gave me good advice. I couldn’t see the rest of my siblings because they were already gone to the forests and fields. My father said that he would walk with me. Then we left home. My mom was crying and my eyes were brimming too. My dad walked with us to the bus station in the town, which was 7 hours from our home. On the bus, I was missing my family, specially my mom and my little brother and little sister. Wherever I saw green grass and forests I missed them and wept in my brother’s lap.

It was the first time that I saw and rode on a bus. I was surprised to see so many vehicles on the road. We came to Kathmandu at night and I stayed with my brother at his room in the monastery. I showered in the bathroom and stayed there for four days. In the daytime, he brought me an English text book and asked me to read, but I was unable to read any word. Then he taught me some words and some maths. After four days, I was admitted to SMD School in Grade two, in 2000, when I was ?? years old. There were many students in grade two, with both monks and nuns among the students, and I was so surprised to see them. I sat with a girl who taught me some English words. By that time I was able to write the English alphabet from A to Z.

It has been eight years now, since I joined the SMD family, and my life has totally changed. I have studied hard and have now finished Grade ten. My younger brother was also admitted to this school one year after my admission. During these 8 years, I have gained a lot. I was given education, food, clothing and many other things, but the main and most essential thing is that I got to learn is “Dharma.” * SMD has looked after me since I came here and brought wonderful changes in my life, and it has given me a strong foundation for my life so that I can go ahead easily.

When I was in Grade three, two of my older sisters got into arranged marriage at the same time and we siblings in Kathmandu were called to the wedding. My sisters were 17 and 18 years of age when they were married. They didn’t want to marry at that very young age, but my dad had already given their hands. My sisters were married by force, especially the eldest sister. After both of my sisters left home, it felt so empty there. My mom was so sad, and we had to leave her to come back to Kathmandu.

Both of my sisters’ husbands turned out to be bad, and they beat my sisters. My eldest sister once came to visit me and my third sister in the school and told us the whole story of how her husband treated her. She showed us all the scars and marks that she got from his beatings. We told her to get a divorce, and when she went back to the village, she called my uncle, big brother and other relatives and divorced her husband. Later she married with another guy who is really nice and she is still with him. She has two sons now. But my second sister is still with her violent husband and he has the same habit of beating her and not working for the family. They have two daughters and they don’t have any income.

When my dad came to know about all these things, he was full of regret. He was always sad at home, and there was no one to work in the house except my younger sister. At the end my Grade four, I heard news from my third sister that she was going home with my brother because our dad was no more in this world. When I heard this, I couldnʼt believe it and thought it was just a dream. Then we all went to the village and got home at midnight. There were so many people in the home and I saw my mom was in the corner crying terribly. She asked us to look at dad for the last time. I saw his face which I couldn’t believe at all.

The next day, his body was burned on the small hill. We didnʼt know how he died. When we asked mom, she said that he committed suicide. He hanged himself because he was unable to bear all the problems that he had to face from the married daughter and he regretted marrying his daughters at such a young age. There was nothing he could do, and all the people in the village were gossiping. When he was gone from the world, it seems that we too were in a different world. It was very hard for us because we didn’t have enough money to do all the prayers for him and we had to pay people back for loans that he had taken.

After finishing all the funeral work, we returned to SMD school, but I didnʼt have any interest in studying. I used to miss my dad a lot, and my younger brother used to come to me and ask for dad. I wept in my bed every night. I was feeling so lonely and if anybody came to me to talk, tears rolled down my cheeks. Later, gradually, I was getting better, but back at home, my mom was facing many problems and difficulties. People blamed my mom for killing my dad. For some months nobody would enter our house. But my mom didn't give up. She did what was right and moved ahead. She sold all the goats and paid people’s loans and my brother helped with that too. Now everything has settled normally again.

Sometimes I compare my life in the village with my life here at SMD. When I do compare, I can easily feel that I have come out of a dark world into a dazzling world, where I came to know about the true meaning of life, and many things like the importance of education, dharma, parents, and time. I got to learn so many things at SMD that I never expected in my life. I passed my Grade ten in 2008, and gave service for one year at SMD. I worked as our School Director Shirley’s assistant for ten months, and now I am School Librarian. I am having a great time being a senior and have been learning many new and necessary things, and gaining valuable experience. SMD has been one of my homes, a home where everyone is living in harmony with a feeling of brotherhood. At the end of summer 2009, I will go overseas to start a scholarship for Grades 11 & 12.

Just as SMD has done a lot for me, I plan to help SMD in the future in any way that I can. I also have a great aim to help my village with education, as it is one of the remote areas where all the people are living in a dark life. I hope that once they are educated, the people of my village and other remote areas can bring many good changes to their lives, especially getting rid of the social evils that cause pain such as my sisters and my parents went through. I’ll try my best to implement all the things that I’ve learned at SMD and share my knowledge with them.

* Dharma = the Buddha’s teachings